It is important for our campus as a whole to come together and to integrate empathy and support into our campus’s culture.
This comes among a greater trend in the Palo Alto area, where students have struggled greatly with mental health. But we, the school community, can provide support to our students by helping one another, looking towards kindness, and checking on our friends’ mental health.
For too long, suicides and mental health have been considered taboo in the Palo Alto community. We haven’t created a culture where students feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feel that they belong.
But the district is beginning to move in the right direction. Mare Lucas, a community mental health activist and former Paly parent who frequently talks at school board meetings, spoke about her son’s experience during community events.
“I was so struck that my son was so happy after International Day, because he really felt that it was the one day that everybody in Paly was just a student,” Lucas said.
The Cultural Assembly, therapy dogs on campus and the expansion of the Wellness Center’s services are all meaningful changes the Paly administration has already implemented to help students’ mental health.
These events are so important because they help students feel that they belong. They are a significant step toward shifting Paly’s culture from one of competition to one of support and kindness.
Informational sessions PAUSD is hosting, such as the “It’s Okay to Say Suicide” workshop with the JED foundation, and the upcoming virtual webinar on April 15, “Getting Youth to Talk”, are also meaningful ways the district is opening up conversations about mental health.
But our administration can go even further. Paly should work to implement mental health check-ins for all students. Even if it is just once a month during Advisory or PRIME, we need to foster an environment where students feel comfortable with the idea of speaking about their mental health.
As Lucas remarks, it can be difficult to see if someone is struggling with mental health.
“The other thing people don’t get is that just because you’re sunny on the outside doesn’t mean you’re not in pain on the inside,” Lucas said.
Even if they may not appear at risk on the outside, everyone needs support. Teachers, administrators, parents and students can help to form cultures where students feel supported.
Nick Mehta, the father of Summer Mehta, who died by suicide in February, reflected during the March 12 special listening session on a place where Summer felt empowered.
“For our Summer, Paly Theatre was her invincible refuge for restoration,” Mehta said. “It was the place she could be herself. It was a place where she felt she belonged. It was her home as much as her physical home, and that is 100% due to the culture that Ms. [Sarah] Thermond created.”
But there are many students at Paly who don’t feel integrated into the community.
“I bump into too many kids who are not having a good Paly experience, and it hurts my heart,” Lucas said. “There’s a lot of kids who don’t feel welcome there, don’t feel they belong, or don’t feel smart enough.”
Students take an important role in creating the change to make Paly a home for every student, and to do this, we must first eliminate hostility on campus. Any type of anti-LGBTQ+ hate and bullying must be condemned. To create a refuge for restoration in our entire school, students need to feel safe. Joking or making fun of someone for their sexuality is extremely harmful and creates a negative culture that should never be tolerated.
Supporting one another, and providing strong social support by asking people around us if they need help, and minimizing unhealthy competition are also other ways we can create a culture of kindness at Paly.
According to a study conducted by the Journal of Research in Health Sciences, social support plays a big role in reducing the risk of suicide. Through the open discussion of mental health with check-ins, school events that unite the student body, and helping one another, the entire Paly campus can become a welcoming school, supporting and prioritizing mental health.
It is not a shift that will happen overnight, but it is possible, it’s beginning, and we can make it happen.