Grief, hatred, hope and forgiveness — that was the story two mothers communicated at a community gathering on Oct. 24 at the Etz Chayim congregation.
This event, Shared Grief and Shared Hope: Bereaved Israelis and Palestinians for Peace, focused on promoting forgiveness over revenge in response to the ongoing Israel-Gaza conflict. Two mothers — one Israeli, Robi Damelin, and one Palestinian, Layla Alsheikh — shared their personal stories of loss and reconciliation. Both had lost a child to the conflict in the Middle East and discussed how they came to choose peace over violence. After their speeches, the forum was opened to audience questions, followed by attendees comforting each other.
The event was organized by the Parents Circle – Families Forum, an organization of over 600 Israeli and Palestinian families who have lost family members in conflicts in Gaza and Israel.
Alsheikh said that after her six-month-old son died in 2002 from inhaling tear gas released by Israeli soldiers who also stopped them from taking him to the hospital, she was very bitter.
“I was filled with hatred, anger against everyone, but especially against the Israelis,” Alsheikh said. “I decided not to have any relationship with any Israeli.”
According to Alsheikh, joining the PCFF allowed her to meet other people who had gone through similar experiences to her and it reshaped her perspective.
“After 16 years [from my son’s death], I met people from the Parents Circle, [and] I went to one of their conferences,” Alsheikh said. “That was the first time I was shown Israelis who really love their loved ones. For the first time when I heard them, I felt that … even if we had different circumstances, we [are] still human and nothing could be worse than losing a child or a family member.”
According to Damelin, when soldiers came to her for the first time and told her her son had been killed, she asked them not to kill in the name of her son.
“I wanted to do something to prevent Palestinians and Israel, particularly mothers, from experiencing this pain [of losing your child] because it’s as if somebody takes a knife and slices a piece of your heart out and it never goes away,” Damelin said.
Damelin said that there was no point in revenge or retribution.
“What are we doing?” Damelin said. “Are we going to continue to kill each other until there’s nobody left? Or are we going to actually begin to find another way?”
According to Rabbi Amy Eilberg, one of the speakers at the gathering, many individuals in the United States are polarized, favoring one side in the war rather than promoting peace between the factions. However, she believes that people should instead support efforts to foster peace between both sides.
“We’re very stuck in our different sides in our different silos and our different theories and our different ways of thinking,” Eilberg said. “These people from The Parents Circle say, don’t be on the Israeli side and don’t be on the Palestinian side. Be on the side of peace and be on the side of humanity.”